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PERSONAL PERSPECTIVES
Kevin Jackson
Like many I grew up in the belief that spirituality and religion are indivisible. Such things weren’t discussed so couldn’t be examined, though at some level I sensed there was more. Something that was in the rhythm of village life, the bible stories, my grandmother’s way with herbs, the coming and going of clouds across the hills, bells bouncing on Sundays.
Then dad died and I raged at god. I switched to the Anglican version, s/he had grander buildings and better music, beautiful music. If the vicar’s words sometimes baffled, the music always inspired. Not just the sounds, the blending of different voices, the space opening through the music, the rise and fall as of breathing.
As intellect and sexuality developed, organised religion faded out. And with it the spaces and rituals where I’d been with spirit. The secular slid in, endless activities, plans, desires. Two areas, however, stood apart, and sometimes connected me to spirit; these were music and nature.
Questions remained. School teaches we go to books for answers and I’ve read widely about queer culture, eastern philosophy, alternative spiritualities. There’s plenty to read but it hasn’t been enough. Over recent years I’ve been exploring experientially, through meditation, writing poetry, running workshops, finding and being in community. For me, this has dissolved the barriers of religion and rigid rationality. And something magical has happened. Freed of the association with religious structures, freed of doctrines and dogmas, freed of limited thinking, spirit emerges. Through shared space, shared rituals, shared intent, spirit emerges. With love, playfulness, grace, spirit emerges. And spirit is generative. The more it’s lived, the more it’s experienced; the more it’s experienced, the more it transforms.
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